There’s something that happens when life gets hard—when you hit a wall, face resistance, or go through a tough season.
You start shutting down.
You retreat.
You avoid.
You hide.
And the first thing to go?
Yourself.
When I Stop Shaving, Something’s Off
Now, I’ve never been a beard guy. Truthfully, I can’t grow a good one even if I tried. But I like to stay clean-shaven—not just because it feels better, but because my wife and kids absolutely hate the scruff. It’s one of those small things that makes me feel sharp, like I’m dialed in and ready to face the day.
So when the razor sits untouched for a few days—or longer—it’s a sign.
A clear sign that something’s off in my head.
I’ve come to realize that my outer habits often reflect my inner world. And when I’m in a tough stretch, the little habits that help me feel like me—those are the first to go.
The Season I Shut Down
Recently, I went through one of those tough seasons. One filled with pressure, doubt, and emotional weight that I didn’t quite know how to carry. I slowed down. Stopped responding to messages. Avoided conversations. And, yes—stopped shaving.
But it went deeper than just scruff on my face.
One of the things I avoided entirely was the book.
I had finished the first draft. I was proud of it. I believed in the message. I knew it could help others.
But I was tired. Worn out. Unsure.
And the thought of putting it out there—of handing it to people I love and respect, of being seen—felt overwhelming.
So I ignored it.
I ignored the follow-ups from my editor.
I avoided questions from my publisher.
I deflected when friends asked how the book was going.
The same way I left the razor untouched in the bathroom drawer, I left the manuscript untouched in my inbox.
Resilience Doesn’t Always Look Like Strength
We tend to think of resilience as powering through. As showing up at full force no matter what. As being unshakeable.
But sometimes, resilience looks like:
- Taking a step back.
- Letting yourself feel.
- Being honest about what you’re carrying.
- Pausing—not quitting—until you’re ready to begin again.
The truth is, I needed that pause. But what I didn’t need was the silence, the hiding, the shame. Because those things only grew the gap between who I wanted to be and how I was showing up.
3 Ways to Build Resilience When You’re Off Track
If you’re in one of those tough seasons—where you feel like you’ve stopped showing up for yourself, where everything feels heavy—here’s what I’ve learned:
1. Notice Your “Tells”
For me, it’s not shaving. For you, it might be:
- Skipping workouts
- Ignoring texts
- Sleeping later
- Snapping at people you love
- Letting small routines slip
Whatever it is, learn your signs. They’re not failures—they’re feedback.
They’re your body and mind trying to tell you, “Hey, something’s off.”
When you can spot the early signals, you can catch yourself before you spiral too far.
2. Tell Someone the Truth
I spent weeks pretending everything was fine, when all I needed was to say:
“I’m struggling. I feel stuck. I don’t know why this feels so heavy.”
That one sentence can unlock everything. It invites support. It removes shame. It breaks the cycle of isolation.
Resilience isn’t built alone. It’s built in community—with people who see you, hear you, and remind you who you are when you’ve forgotten.
3. Do the Smallest Next Step
I didn’t need to finish rewriting the entire book in one day. I just needed to open the file.
Sometimes resilience is just:
- Lacing up your shoes, even if you don’t run.
- Responding to one email.
- Writing one page.
- Shaving.
It’s about movement, not momentum. Forward, not fast.
Coming Back Stronger
Eventually, I did pick the book back up. I made the edits. I shared it with my inner circle. I re-engaged with my editor and publisher. But I came back to it with something deeper than before:
A stronger sense of self.
A deeper appreciation for the process.
And a greater understanding that resilience isn’t linear—it’s a choice.
A choice to keep going, even when you’ve been stalled.
A choice to keep moving, even when you feel stuck.
A choice to keep believing, even when your confidence is shaky.
The Lesson I Keep Learning
Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back.
It’s about bouncing forward—wiser, stronger, and more self-aware than before.
If you’ve found yourself in a season like the one I just came out of—where you’ve retreated or shut down—I want you to know something:
You’re not broken.
You’re not behind.
You’re human.
And the best thing you can do is start small. Take care of yourself. Reconnect with what matters. Do the next right thing.
Even if it’s just picking up the razor.
Let Me Ask You This:
- What are your “tells”? The small habits or signs that let you know you’re in a rough season?
- When was the last time you felt stuck or shut down—and how did you get through it?
- Who in your life helps you bounce back when things get hard?
- Is there something you’ve been avoiding that you know you need to revisit?
- What’s one small step you could take today to move forward?
Drop your thoughts in the comments or shoot me a message—I’d love to hear how you recognize and recover from those tough seasons. We’re all on this journey, and your story might be the thing someone else needs to hear.
