In leadership, relationships matter. Whether we’re leading a business, a team, or even within our families, the way we communicate and support those around us makes all the difference. Recently, my church has been in a series called “I Choose You,” which focuses on relationships. One of the key themes is communication—how we listen, how we respond, and how we uplift the people we lead.
This message deeply resonated with me because, as leaders, our ability to listen and be present for our teams is critical. One scripture that stood out was James 1:19-20:
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
This verse is a powerful reminder that being an effective leader isn’t about having all the answers or speaking first—it’s about listening. When we truly listen, we create a culture of trust, accountability, and engagement. But how often are we intentionally creating moments for these meaningful conversations?
The Importance of Intentional Check-Ins
In reflecting on this, I came across a concept from the “I Choose You” series—a weekly marriage check-in. The idea is that spouses take time each week to ask each other specific questions to strengthen their relationship. As I looked at these questions, it struck me that they’re just as applicable in leadership as they are in marriage.
As leaders, we should be checking in with our team members regularly, not just about work tasks but about how they’re doing, what challenges they’re facing, and how we can support them. This level of communication builds trust, increases job satisfaction, and ultimately leads to a more engaged and productive team.
Essential Questions for Leadership Check-Ins
You may already be asking some of these questions in your check-ins, and if so, that’s fantastic—keep it up! If not, I encourage you to consider incorporating one or two into your conversations. These questions can make a significant impact in fostering open dialogue and ensuring that your team members feel heard and valued.
- How can I better support you?
This question immediately signals that your role as a leader is to serve and support your team. It encourages employees to be open about what they need, whether that’s more resources, guidance, or simply a listening ear.
- What are the main stressors currently in your role, and is there any way I can alleviate that stress for you, even in a small way?
Every job has stressors, but when leaders actively try to help lessen the load—even if it’s just by offering perspective or prioritization—it can make a big difference. Simply asking this question shows empathy and awareness of their challenges.
- What’s something you’re proud of this week?
Many people are so focused on what’s next that they rarely take time to celebrate their wins. Giving them a chance to acknowledge their accomplishments helps boost morale and motivation.
- What’s one challenge you’re facing that you haven’t had time to bring up?
Sometimes employees hesitate to bring up struggles because they don’t want to seem like they’re complaining or failing. By making it a point to ask, you’re opening the door for honest discussions about obstacles that might be preventing progress.
- Is there a process or system that’s frustrating or slowing you down?
Many inefficiencies go unnoticed because leaders don’t experience them firsthand. Your team likely has insights into what could be improved—give them the space to share!
- What’s one thing I could do differently as a leader to help you succeed?
This question requires humility, but it’s essential. By asking for feedback on your leadership, you not only model openness to growth but also show that you truly value their perspective.
- Is there anything you need more clarity on in your role or responsibilities?
Lack of clarity leads to confusion and inefficiency. Regularly checking in on this ensures that expectations are clear and employees feel confident in their work.
- Are you getting enough feedback and recognition? If not, how can I improve that?
Employees want to know that their work matters. By proactively asking if they feel recognized, you’re showing that you care about their contributions.
- What’s one skill or area you’d love to grow in this year? How can I help make that happen?
Investing in your team’s growth isn’t just good for them—it’s good for your organization. Helping them identify growth opportunities fosters engagement and loyalty.
Implementing These Questions in Your Leadership
If you’re already asking some of these questions in your check-ins, keep it up! You’re creating a culture of trust, engagement, and support. If you’re not, consider incorporating just one or two into your next meeting and see how it shifts the conversation.
Here are a few ways to implement these questions effectively:
- One-on-One Meetings – Make these questions a regular part of your one-on-one check-ins with team members.
- Team Meetings – Occasionally, bring one of these questions into a team meeting to open up dialogue in a group setting.
- Anonymous Surveys – If you sense hesitancy in responses, an anonymous format might provide more candid feedback.
- Leadership Reflection – As a leadership team, discuss what you’re hearing and how you can act on the feedback you receive.
The Ripple Effect of Intentional Communication
When we take the time to listen and support our team members, we create a ripple effect. Employees who feel heard and valued are more engaged, more motivated, and more likely to go the extra mile. That, in turn, leads to a stronger, more successful organization.
The verse from James reminds us to be quick to listen, slow to speak. Imagine the kind of workplace we can create if we all took this approach more seriously—if we made listening a priority and committed to being better leaders through meaningful check-ins.
So here’s my challenge to you: pick one of these questions and ask it this week. See what happens. See what insights you gain. See how it impacts your team. And most importantly, see how it strengthens your relationships and your leadership.
Let’s commit to leading with intention, listening with purpose, and supporting our teams in the best way possible.
